What am I going to do with you?

I'm chatting with my mom when my doctor enters the room.  After welcoming us and saying it was nice to see us again, he looks me in the eye, shakes his head and asks "Emily, what am I going to do with you?"


Truth be told: not the greeting I was looking for.  I want answers!  I want progress!  Tell me what's wrong, what's ailing me!  Why am I continuously feeling sick?  A positive attitude proves difficult to maintain when my doctors are unable to figure out why I'm in pain.  After two years of feeling sick, I sometimes wonder if an answer will ever present itself.  But, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel (I just don't know how long it will take me to get there!).


Does God say this to us when we're created?  "Emily, what am I going to do with you?"  He has a plan for me, I know that--I believe that.  In all of His infinite wisdom, He has this whole thing already worked out (and that includes this illness I'm battling).  Something will come out of all of this hurt and frustration--something good even!  


Has God deemed me fit to travel this journey in order to help others along the way, influence someone or something, or just grow due to his grace?  People may think I'm crazy when I say I'm blessed.  I am so blessed!  Anything is possible through God, and I know I will not be given more than I can bear (a very calming and encouraging thought).  I can do this!


I exude thankfulness and happiness for so many things in my life. Despite my vision problems, I can still see!  Despite my pain, it can be managed!  Despite the countless other issues I encounter, I'm alive!


I may never fully understand why I have been put in this situation, but the abundance of blessings are already appearing.  It helps ease the pain and the sorrow knowing that God is working in my life with a plan to which he already knows the outcome.  


When the feeling that I'll never find answers drifts over me, when the sadness and heartache interfere, I remind myself that it's all part of God's plan, and there truly is a reason behind all of this.  I just need a little bit of faith and let his blessings and grace wash over me.